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  • June 2021 - A
A Conscious Partner
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  • June 2021 - A

STOP Working on Your Relationship!!

7/16/2018

5 Comments

 
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     Sorry. I won’t do it. I don’t want to work all day at my job and then go home at night and “work” on my relationship. That means I would be working all the time. I go to work so that I can afford to leave work and enjoy life.

     The things I do outside of work are supposed to be fun and interesting. Like golfing, or playing hockey...or even coaching softball. These are all fun and easy things to do...

     Easy? Well, maybe not in the beginning. I spent a lot of time practicing and developing my skills. I made a lot of mistakes, learned many lessons, but it was worth it in the end. With all the practice it just comes naturally now.

    Well, maybe not naturally. I have to keep practicing so that my skills don't decline. If you don't use it you lose it, so they say!!

     Let’s use golf as an example. I have to go to the driving range and practice my shots. I have to go to the putting green and practice putting. I watch tips and tricks videos on the internet to see if I can learn something new. I have to update my equipment and keep up with what is going on. I know that sounds like work, but it isn’t work for me...it’s fun. It is just what I do to stay current with something that I love.
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    Just like everything else I do as a hobby or for fun. If I put in the effort and want to succeed it isn't work at all. I enjoy it...I look forward to it. I want to do it. 

Hmmm, let me think about this.

    My job takes time, effort and energy, but it isn’t where I want to be all the time, so I consider all my effort to be “work”.

    My hobbies take time, effort and energy, but since I enjoy them, I consider all my effort to be “practice”.

    So I guess that's the question that I really need to answer for myself. Is my relationship a place I want to be, or a place I don’t want to be?

    Based on the above, if I don’t want to be there, then yes, a relationship will be “work”.

    On the other hand, if my relationship is something I do enjoy and do want to be a part of, then shouldn’t I be “practicing” my skills, just like with all of the other things I enjoy doing? It shouldn't be work at all.

    Another point to consider...when something is work, theoretically, mistakes are not allowed. If I do something wrong at work, there are negative consequences. When I am practicing, I am expecting a certain amount of failure along the way. That is how I get better at something. That is how I develop my skills.  I try things out and see what happens, I get feedback and I make adjustments.

     So...If I want to be in a relationship, and I want it to last, then I should want to practice. If my partner wants to be a relationship with me, she will want to practice with me. I guess that's the sign we should both be looking for while we are out fishing for a partner. Do we like each other enough to practice our relationship together so that we can develop our skills?

Note to self...

STOP “working” on my relationship. START “practicing” my relationship skills!
 


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5 Comments
https://bestwritingservicesreviews.com/superiorpapers-com/ link
4/23/2019 04:05:23 pm

A relationship can be really hard, there are times that you would think of giving up on a relationship. Well, I had a lot of experiences with relationship like this. In my opinion, if you doubt a person that you are in a relationship with, then you should not be with them in the first place. Relationships should be built upon trust. Having a great relationship is not about the money, it is about having a secured heart that is always at ease.

Reply
Gmash link
4/20/2020 04:40:21 am

There are some interesting points in time in this article. There is some validity but I will take hold opinion until I look into it further. Good article, thanks and I want more! Added to my Feed as well.

Reply
emotional link
7/14/2020 09:28:19 pm

Let me offer just one quick word of advice, from someone who successfully navigated high school without too many scars and is now attending college: Don’t let dating become a priority. Sophomore year can be so much fun. Don’t add drama where it’s not necessary.

Reply
husband link
7/14/2020 10:59:55 pm

Emotional regulation requires us to put self-awareness into practice in our lives. Trying out the 5, 10 or 15-minute exercise is a great way to better regulate our emotions and learn from them rather than divert, deflect, or push them away.

Reply
storiesig link
10/30/2020 01:21:24 am

Intriguing post. I Have Been pondering about this issue, so a debt of gratitude is in order for posting. Entirely cool post.It 's extremely exceptionally decent and Useful post

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  • ACP Home
    • A Conscious Partner
    • The 6 Conscious Principles >
      • Recognition
      • Responsibility
      • Acceptance
      • Authenticity
      • Transparency
      • Consistency
    • A Conscious Relationship
    • The 8 Conscious Connections >
      • Chemistry Connection
      • Conflict Connection
      • Emotional Connection
      • Financial Connection
      • Life Style Connection
      • Physical Connection
      • Sexual Connection
      • Spiritual Connection
  • Events
    • Foundation Events
    • March 2021 - J
    • April 2021 - K
    • May 2021 - L
    • Lifetime Members
    • All Events List
  • Programs
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    • Bruce Dougherty
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  • Quick Links
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    • Personality
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    • About Us >
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  • June 2021 - A