Event Information - Spot The Enemy!
Discover My Patterns
Many people do not take the time to recognize their unhealthy relationship patterns. For example, being consistently attracted to the wrong people could be a symptom of falling into the same pattern over and over without realizing there is a way out.
We do this because it is familiar, even if it doesn't work out in the long run. Even though it isn't healthy, we get comfortable and dive in anyway.
Fortunately, if patterns are consistent enough, we should be able to recognize them, and if we can recognize them, then maybe we can adjust them!
In many cases, people-pleasing can get addictive because of the rewards it brings, but that is also what makes it harmful.
People pleasing is a pattern, and if we have that pattern, then it’s likely that we often try to be who others want us to be. We tend to always agree and try to “fit in”. We may not even realize we are doing this, because it’s so familiar to us that it has become a true “pattern” or habit.
Instead of being who we want to be, our goal is to please others in order to avoid negative reactions that make us uncomfortable.
Too much “people-pleasing” causes us to lose our own path and we might become what people call a “doormat” and never be our true selves.
Gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse that’s seen in abusive relationships. It’s the act of manipulating a person by forcing them to question their thoughts, memories, and the events occurring around them.
A victim of gaslighting can be pushed so far that they question their own sanity and whether intentional or not, is a form of manipulation.
Gaslighting can happen in many types of relationships, including those with bosses, friends, and parents. But one of the most devastating forms of gaslighting is when it occurs in a relationship between a couple.
Narcissism & Borderline
We use the word "narcissist" all the time, but do we really know what a narcissist is? Are we aware that there are different types of narcissism and that the one that we understand the most is the one we need to worry about the least?
When dealing with narcissism, let's be aware of what we are looking for.
Individuals with borderline personality disorder (BPD) tend to display impulsive and sometimes reckless behaviors when they are upset. This stems from the inability to self-regulate emotionally and to self-soothe when they feel troubled by their circumstances. These behaviors play havoc with their relationships.
This event helps us to both understand and recognize these unhealthy relationship patterns.
The Victim Triangle
Or the Drama Triangle. Victim / Persecutor / Rescuer.
In different situations and at different times in our lives, we might be all 3, but it is important to understand that all three of them can be exhausting patterns that confuse and sabotage relationships.
First described by Stephen Karpman in 1961, the drama triangle represents the roles that we may take on in different situations, which can result in us getting trapped in a role that is not really true to who we are, or want to be.
Are you a victim, a persecutor or a rescuer?
Are we living our lives just to get to the end? Does our entire life revolve around working so that we can pay bills on the stuff that we have to buy because we are told that if we have that stuff, then we will be happy? So when does all this "happy" start?
You know what? Maybe it's time to start being happy right now. Happiness has nothing to do with how much "stuff" we can accumulate. Happiness revolves around living life authentically and being content with who we are, what we do, and where we are going.
It's important to realize that “stuff” and other people cannot make us happy. Then, it’s essential to take the time to think about what makes us happy and start living life doing those things.