Quiz Singles

The purpose of this quiz is for your own awareness. The singles quiz is designed to make you think and help you to understand if you are ready to be a conscious partner. The quiz is based on the 6 Conscious Principles. There are two questions for each of the principles, so only 12 questions.

We could ask many more questions, but the ones we chose will get you thinking! Although there are not really any right or wrong answers, if you are hoping to be a Conscious Partner, your answers should be leaning towards yes on the majority of these questions.

Do you recognize and understand your "Triggers"?

Do you feel anxiety at times and not really understand why? Do you recognize that feeling in your stomach when you just don't feel right? Do you avoid certain people or situations because they make you feel uncomfortable? Do you ever react defensively when you really didn't need to? An emotional trigger is that feeling we get when a situation arises, or a person says something that causes us to instinctively react in a way that we would not normally act without that trigger. Triggers can be both good and bad, but we need to understand and account for the ones that can be harmful to our relationships. The first step to understand and deal with triggers is to recognize them.
Learn more about Triggers" "More Triggers" "A Funny look at triggers" "Handling Triggers"

Do you recognize and understand your "Attachment Style"?

For most people, early on in life, we develop a particular attachment style with our primary caregiver that tends to stick with us as we move forward in life. This style has a significant impact on both our emotional development and on the health of our relationships. There are 3 types of attachment style (Secure, Anxious and Avoidant) put into 4 categories - "Secure", "Anxious-Preoccupied", "Dismissive-Avoidant" and "Fearful-Avoidant". The goal is to have a "Secure" attachment to your partner. If you do not have a secure attachment style at the moment, don't worry, you can make adjustments and get there.
Take a free attachment style "Test" (Click on the "B" test).
Learn more about "Attachment Style". Also - "Adjusting your attachment style". "Another one"

Do you have "Core Values" that you want to maintain?

Your values can be described as those things that you believe are important regarding how you want to live, work, play and even interact with society. They usually would govern your priorities in life, and they will give you that "deep down" feedback if you feel that life is not going the way you want it to. When your behaviours and actions match your values, things are pretty good. When they don't align though, that is when things tend to feel "wrong". This can be a time when you would have a general unhappy feeling.
Learn more about Core Values

Do you have "Deal Breakers"? Can you list them?

A deal breaker is any issue or factor that is significant enough to terminate the relationship. Your personal deal breakers are your natural instincts serving as a survival function. What you are ultimately doing is weeding out people with traits that you find undesirable. Some are pretty easy; others can be rare. For example, "smoking" is a deal breaker for many people. Do you know your deal breakers?
Learn more about Deal Breakers.

Do you have the confidence to be open to the right partner?

Transparency refers to intentionally exposing your soul to those who matter to you. Many people tend to hide who they really are out of a fear of rejection, but there are other reasons. Keeping walls up tends to have a negative impact on relationships and people who do this are doing themselves a disservice as it is hard to be happy when you aren't open and transparent. We use these walls to protect ourselves, but many positive things happen when you can be transparent with your partner. The trick is to master the delicate balance between assuming good intent and protecting yourself. Learn about Transparency.

Do you have the ability to communicate openly and honestly?

Open communication is a life-long practice. Expressing yourself in difficult situations is hard even for the best communicators. Many people feel unheard and misunderstood at times, and it's important to realize that you are not alone. Most of us have not had the practice to get it right, and when we are wrong, the immediate negative results of our efforts prevents us from feeling safe to express ourselves openly in the future.
Learn more about Communication. "Communication 2"

Have you taken responsibility for where you are right now?

Low self esteem. Relationship issues. Financial issues. Health issues. Work issues. There is often a common denominator to all these issues. Many people don’t take responsibility for the situations that they are in. Instead, someone else is blamed for the bad things that happen and a victim mentality is created and empowered.These issues will never go away until you take responsibility for your life. There is really no way around it. Learn more about "Responsibility".

Do you learn from your mistakes?

Yes, to err is human, but why does it seem that we get into patterns of repeating the same mistakes over and over? Relationship mistakes, dating mistakes, putting off assignments, sleeping in, overeating. We vow to do better...and then...we don't. The reason is that in these situations we have come to prefer the familiar over the unfamiliar. In other words, we exchange what we desperately need, for the secure feeling of being in control. The battle to stop an unhealthy pattern then is more of an internal one than external.
Learn more about "Mistakes". (Watch the video)

Are you consciously consistent?

Do you know what you want and do you live your life in a manner that will help you get to where you want to be? Most people say that their goal is to be "happy", but many do not take the time to consciously think about what that actually means. A goal that is not specifically identified is hard to achieve. Once you can identify what it is that you want to achieve, you can start living your life in a manner that will help you get there. For example, you may be looking for a "partner" right now, but have you "consciously" made room in your life to accommodate a partner? When you finally meet the right person, is your life style flexible?
Learn more about "Making Room".

Do you live a consistent life?

Living a consistent life means taking the time to determine those things that are important to you and then living your life in a way that allows you to focus your time and efforts towards achieving those goals. For example, let's pretend you are an actor, preparing for a role and you need to gain 30 lbs. To live consistently, you would need to stop going to the gym and you would need to start eating unhealthy foods. In simpler terms, do your actions match up to your words and thoughts and desires?
Learn more about being "Consistent".

Can you accept the flaws in yourself and others?

Acceptance doesn’t mean that we allow ourselves to put up with things that are not and should never be okay. What it means is that we learn to appreciate ourselves and our partners for who we are and recognize that perfect simply does not exist. We all have flaws. Before we ask others to accept us, it’s really important that we acknowledge and own the parts of who we are that others may not find so desirable. It's not about loving your flaws, but pretending they don’t exist won’t work. Learn more about Accepting Flaws.

Do you accept who you are and where you are at in life?

Your situation and who you are is real. No amount of wishing for something different or rejecting the situation (or yourself) will change anything. The only power that you have is to accept who and where you are in life. It has been a combination your actions, your decisions and some good or bad luck that have impacted where you are right now. You can learn lessons from the past, but that doesn't change where you are right now. The key is to accept where you are as you take the steps necessary to get you to where you want to be. Learn more about Accepting Who You Are.

What Does All This Mean?

     Yes, this all does sound a bit complicated and it looks like at a lot of work. While there is definitely some time and effort that needs to be allotted for going through the process, it is certainly time that is well spent. As Martin Luther King said "You don't need to see the whole staircase, just take the first step".

     Just deal with one of these at a time. The first one is tricky as many people don't really understand what their triggers are, but once you identify one and understand it, the rest is easy. Take your time and really think about what each of these elements are and whether or not you are being true to yourself in how you answer. Do your actions back up your thoughts?

     Once you have taken the first step, then try the second. Before long, the 12 steps will be done and you will be that much closer to being A Conscious Partner.