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You are the only person you have at the end of the day. If you're trying to do something because it’s what makes other people happy rather than because it's what feels authentic for you, you’re never going to be as happy as you could be.
It's not about being selfish, but it is important that we are living our lives and not the life that someone else is dictating. We must find that space to be fearlessly ourselves and honour ourselves authentically every day. |
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“Be yourself — not your idea of what you think
somebody else’s idea of yourself should be.” — Henry David Thoreau There is a bit of a paradox to "being yourself". We keep looking on the outside to figure out who we are supposed to be, rather than searching within. People are trying to figure out what ‘authentic’ means to others and then they try to be that. It doesn't work! |
What if people don’t like the real me?
When we worry that people won't like the "real" us, what we are usually worried about
is discovering that our friends are really not our friends.
But does it really matter if the only reason that we have those friends is
because we are pretending to be someone that we are not?
If we constantly seek approval (or respect) from other people
we will never understand how it feels to live life as our true selves.
Stop Seeking Approval!
When we worry that people won't like the "real" us, what we are usually worried about
is discovering that our friends are really not our friends.
But does it really matter if the only reason that we have those friends is
because we are pretending to be someone that we are not?
If we constantly seek approval (or respect) from other people
we will never understand how it feels to live life as our true selves.
Stop Seeking Approval!
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We have become a victim of what our "image perfect" society wants us to be. We place more importance on being relevant than we do on being real. Social media has become the definition of who we are. We now seem to have no more value than the meal pictures that we post on Instagram or the next selfie in our Facebook feed. |
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It requires a real vulnerability to be authentic.
It's no longer about the taste of the food or the character of the person; we are now judged based on the pictures we post.
True authenticity requires some level of self-knowledge and self-awareness. Authentic people understand and accept themselves for who they are. They are accountable to themselves and those around them. They are aware of their core values and act deliberately in support of them. |
How Does It Feel to be Inauthentic?
It can make a person feel resentment, depression, boredom, anger, and worse.
We may feel irritated by or jealous of someone who is living their life in more authentic ways.
We may feel like we’ve just given up on our dreams of being who we want to be.
We may feel like we’re missing out on something in life.
Do you feel that you might be happier if you were living more authentically?
It can make a person feel resentment, depression, boredom, anger, and worse.
We may feel irritated by or jealous of someone who is living their life in more authentic ways.
We may feel like we’ve just given up on our dreams of being who we want to be.
We may feel like we’re missing out on something in life.
Do you feel that you might be happier if you were living more authentically?
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Getting to know ourselves can be a challenging but rewarding journey. It might be a little overwhelming and take some patience, but it will be worth it. Where do we start? With a pen and paper. We can ask ourselves all kinds of questions that will help us learn more about who we are and why we do the things we do.
"What is my attachment Style?", "What is my personality type?", What are my core values?" and "What is it that I think LOVE really is?". (Foundation Events) Learn more about "Know Yourself" |
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It might be time to put our beliefs in a blender and see what comes out. Holding on to beliefs from the past will keep us stuck in the past. They create a burden for us to carry around and prevent us from moving forward.
Life changes. People change. The world changes every day. Do our beliefs still make sense with all of the changes that are happening around us? Do our beliefs help us create our happiness, or are they getting in the way? More about "Challenge & Change" "Challenge Beliefs" |
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We all have flaws, quirks, foibles, or maybe peccadilloes that we wish we could let go. Maybe we don't handle changes well. Maybe we don't like all the new technology. Maybe we just don't like people in general!
The great thing is there are very easy ways we can improve our lives, and sometimes it can be as simple as opening our minds a little and letting go of our fears. It might be our fears that are keeping us from being authentic! Learn more about "Open Mind" |
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Our families played a part of shaping who we are. In many cases, we do things simply because that is how the people in our family have done it.
Being authentic requires us to forego the limitations of our ancestors, break the mold, and be who we want to be. In this case, being the one in the family that is a bit of a lone wolf can be a good thing! Learn more about "Evolving" "20 Signs" |
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It's time to make choices that put ourselves first. It's not about being selfish; it's about doing what is best for our own mental and emotional health. If we don't take care of ourselves and don't do what is best for us, our relationships will suffer.
We should trust that when we consciously do what is best for us, it will also be best for those around us in the long run. Sure, there is some risk, and there will likely be some short-term pain, but the rewards will be worth it. Learn more about "Putting Me First" |
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As we discover who we are, open our minds, and challenge our beliefs, it should start to become more clear as to what we really want and why we want it. Our questions to ourselves should reveal some of the answers that we seek, and now the task is to discover and understand why?
What have we learned, and how can we use the information to help us improve our lives and relationships? Why was it important that we needed to go through what we did, and how can we use that moving forward? Learn more about "Understanding Why" |
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Any time we desire or attach to something, we put ourselves at risk of "suffering". This is not limited to just material things. We can desire a specific outcome that is out of our control; we can get attached to people that don't want to be attached or both.
Desire and attachment are what often cause us to be inauthentic. If we try to be someone that we are not, so we can influence what we desire, we might get it, but it won't last. We cannot control what others think and do. We must surrender the desire to attach to an outcome or to control another person, and just be ourselves. As the saying goes, "those who matter don't mind, and those who mind don't matter". Learn more about "Surrendering" |
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One of the most important skills we can develop is intuition. Without it, we can easily get trapped in a maze of obsessive thoughts and feelings that can lead straight to bad decisions.
If we listen effectively, our intuition provides us feedback and clarity in making decisions that are consistent with our core values and lifestyle. When faced with a decision, quiet your mind and ask yourself, “How do I feel about ________”? Notice the feeling, take notes, ask yourself again in a different way. Does it feel right? More about "Trust Your Gut" "Connecting with Yourself" |
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We all have a story. We all have a history. When we start drifting into the past, we can see things not as they were, but how they made us feel at the time. It may be more sentimental it was... or it may be more hurtful than it was. Either way, it no longer exists.
It's time to start telling a new story. Not about what happened, but WHY it happened. Instead of telling a story about heartache, start telling a story about what was learned, how you persevered, and how you grew. learn more about "Telling a New Story" |
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It's time to stop living our lives just to please others. It's time to stop obsessing over what others think, what they want and what makes them happy. It's time to figure out what it is that we want, and what makes us happy.
If we want to be true to ourselves, we must figure out what we want, what will fulfill us, what will allow us to be content with our lives, what we value, what we need in our lives to motivate and excite us. It will be different for everyone. We have all the answers; we simply have to listen to ourselves. Stay true to ourselves. Learn more about "Being True to Yourself" |
So What Does All This Mean?
Being authentic means being true to your core self in everything that you do every day. It requires a significant amount of self-knowledge and self-awareness.
Authentic people accept their strengths and weaknesses and are accountable to both themselves and the world around them. They are aware of their core values and act intentionally in ways that are consistent with those values.
Authenticity is about being genuine and real.
Being authentic allows us to connect deeply with ourselves and others because the action of being authentic promotes and requires transparency and vulnerability. Would you like to learn how authentic you really are?
Check out The Conscious Quest - Authenticity
Authentic people accept their strengths and weaknesses and are accountable to both themselves and the world around them. They are aware of their core values and act intentionally in ways that are consistent with those values.
Authenticity is about being genuine and real.
Being authentic allows us to connect deeply with ourselves and others because the action of being authentic promotes and requires transparency and vulnerability. Would you like to learn how authentic you really are?
Check out The Conscious Quest - Authenticity
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The information contained on this website, blog, guest blogs, e-mails, videos, programs, services and/or products is for informational purposes only.
It is not clinical in nature.
It is made available to you as self-help tools for your own use.
If you require professional advice, please seek it.
There are no representations or warranties (express or implied), about the completeness, accuracy, reliability, suitability or availability concerning the information, products, services, or related graphics contained on this website or at any ACP event.
Any use of this information is at your own risk.... or benefit. It depends on how you use it!
The sites that we link to via hyperlinks are not under our control. Those sites are responsible for their own content, we are simply offering you more information if you care to view it.
The methods described on this website are the authors’ thoughts. Just some thoughts, not all of them. There is simply not a single definitive set of instructions out there for personal development or for solving relationship issues. Go explore!
You may discover there are other methods and materials to accomplish the goal that you are trying to achieve.
It is not clinical in nature.
It is made available to you as self-help tools for your own use.
If you require professional advice, please seek it.
There are no representations or warranties (express or implied), about the completeness, accuracy, reliability, suitability or availability concerning the information, products, services, or related graphics contained on this website or at any ACP event.
Any use of this information is at your own risk.... or benefit. It depends on how you use it!
The sites that we link to via hyperlinks are not under our control. Those sites are responsible for their own content, we are simply offering you more information if you care to view it.
The methods described on this website are the authors’ thoughts. Just some thoughts, not all of them. There is simply not a single definitive set of instructions out there for personal development or for solving relationship issues. Go explore!
You may discover there are other methods and materials to accomplish the goal that you are trying to achieve.
A Conscious Partner - Development Team
