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I am just a normal guy. In fact, I’m a guy's guy. I am an athlete. I enjoy a good beer and some tasty wings. I watch and play hockey, baseball and golf. I coached my 2 girls in softball at a high level and traveled North America in the process. They both received athletic scholarships to U.S. Colleges, one in Florida and one in Louisiana. I am very proud of them both! In terms of romantic relationships, I have enjoyed the "roller coaster" experience that many do. In my case, I was married for a pretty good 28 years and although we were good at building a life, we just weren't a "match" and, as so many people do, we "grew apart". It's not that we weren't good people and that we did not have the best of intentions, we just didn't really know and understand each other. We didn't know how to "practice" our relationship skills and we didn't realize that there were aspects of relationship that were never going to match up. Ending the marriage was one of the low points on the ride. |
It is a roller coaster though and surely it would climb back up...and it did! I got lucky and actually found love. The kind that we all read and hear about. It was completely different. Everything was falling into place and it was all going to be perfect! It's funny though how life has a way of letting us know who's in charge and that we are all just along for the ride. One day I was made very aware that I was just one of those passengers. In an instant, it all came crashing back to earth. Life can change fast.
So in late 2012, I found myself alone, damaged and a little lost in the world, but as mentioned, I am a guy’s guy. I sucked it up and accepted my fate. I just had to start again. Like so many others, I believe in solving my own problems. I had a lot of work to do, I still had responsibilities, but I had a roof over my head, I had food to eat and I if I was lucky, I still might have a lot of years to look forward to!
So in late 2012, I found myself alone, damaged and a little lost in the world, but as mentioned, I am a guy’s guy. I sucked it up and accepted my fate. I just had to start again. Like so many others, I believe in solving my own problems. I had a lot of work to do, I still had responsibilities, but I had a roof over my head, I had food to eat and I if I was lucky, I still might have a lot of years to look forward to!
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So how did I get to the point of building a website about relationship awareness and development? Well, like so many others, I figured that my problems would be solved if I could just find my next relationship. I had no idea how, because I had just lucked into the last one, but I felt that if I could somehow replace what I had lost then I could get back on track. How hard could it be? So it was off to online dating! Now, if you have done any online dating, you are aware that I was in for another ride and needless to say, that was the case. It was an adventure that I needed and respected, but after putting my heart and head through the wood chipper a few times, I realized there was something missing. Although I was meeting lots of amazing women, who for the most part, seemed honest and sincere, something was wrong. |
After a while, I realized that I was just making the same mistakes over and over again. It was time for an adjustment. I had to figure out a better way to describe what I was looking for and how to explain it to potential partners.
I started researching and after a little time I came to understand that the reason I wasn’t having success (and the reason that I think most people don't have success), was because I was going through the process “unconsciously”. I was waiting to find someone to accept me for who I am. I was waiting to find that person that was authentic, transparent and consistent. Someone who I could connect with emotionally and physically. A true partner that I had chemistry with and enjoyed the same type of lifestyle.
Then it hit me. If that was what I was looking for, wouldn't that person be looking for the same thing?
I started researching and after a little time I came to understand that the reason I wasn’t having success (and the reason that I think most people don't have success), was because I was going through the process “unconsciously”. I was waiting to find someone to accept me for who I am. I was waiting to find that person that was authentic, transparent and consistent. Someone who I could connect with emotionally and physically. A true partner that I had chemistry with and enjoyed the same type of lifestyle.
Then it hit me. If that was what I was looking for, wouldn't that person be looking for the same thing?
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It was time to look in the mirror. Was I all those things? No, I wasn't. I had simply thrown myself into the same giant pool as everyone else, expecting fate to give me a positive result. Sure I was putting myself out there and creating opportunities, but I wasn't going to meet the person I wanted to meet until I became the person that they wanted to meet. It wasn't about them, it was about me. I needed to be A Conscious Partner. At this point, the "coach" in me kicked in. Since I was going to go through this whole process, why not document it by building a website, and then others could maybe get some value out of it too! Long story short, I now have a website about relationship growth and development. |
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Does any of this give me any credibility as a relationship expert? No, it doesn't. I’m not an expert. In fact, I think if there is one thing in the world that it would be tough to be, it's a "relationship expert". Relationships are the most exciting, enticing, turbulent and emotional parts of our lives... and then they get complicated. One thing that I have learned about life is that as soon as you think you have something “mastered”, you are in for a big lesson. |
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No, I am not an expert. What we have done here is gathered information that we feel is both logical and relevant, translated it into plain English and hopefully presented it in such a way that it is fun, interesting and easy to read; just like "A Conscious Partner" is supposed to be...fun, interesting and easy to read! Bruce Dougherty |
