Consistency

What Does Consistency Mean?

     There are four elements to consistency in life and relationships. We often hear about the first two: WORDS & ACTION, but as we are all well aware, both words and actions can be manipulated.

Sometimes we say all of the right things in our heads, but what is the intent behind what we say? Are we sincere?

    Sometimes we do all of the right things... technically, but are we really trying; are we really putting in the effort?

     Sometimes we can manipulate both at the same time.

We often hear that actions can speak louder than words, and that is true, but if those actions are done with little effort and the wrong intention, then they don't mean much.

To live a consistent life, we should align our words and actions, and ensure they are supported with the right intention and the appropriate amount of effort.

Consistency is vital to building what is likely the two most important parts of any good relationship: "TRUST & RESPECT."

It’s easy to head down to the gym and sign up for the membership. It's not quite as easy to head down to the gym consistently for 5 days a week for the first month, but it's doable. What’s really difficult is doing it, 4-5 days a week, for many years in a row.

As we all know, starting things is easy. Following through for an extended period of time is a lot tougher.

We also know that to get results, we need to be consistent. We need to focus on the process and not the outcome or expectation.

The same rule applies to us in every part of our lives. Any sport, any job, any talent, any hobby, any material thing, any relationship that we have, there is only one way to improve it or achieve a goal; Consistency.

Our success or failure will likely depend on the Consistency of our actions, and the effort we put behind those actions.

How to Develop Consistent Action Patterns

Let's try always to remember that perfection is not possible. If your definition of success is 100% consistency, then you are setting yourself up for failure. There will be times where there will be a letdown. That's not a problem, just get back up and keep going!.

"Just let it go!" How many times have we heard that in our lives? Yes, it's a great idea, but what does it mean, and how do we do it?

     "Letting go" is not easy, but it is one of the most important things we can do if we want to start living our lives in a way that is consistent with our dreams, our core values, and our desires.

    Letting go means letting go of the past, old self-images, detaching from outcomes, and relinquishing the control that we may want to have over others. We can't control them, we can only control ourselves. It means to forgive, and release the weight of the history we keep carrying around.

Learn more about "Letting Go"

For most of us, we like to have goals, something for which to strive. It could be anything. It could be to climb a mountain, run a marathon, visit a country, learn a language, or connect with our partner... or often many of these at the same time! Life wouldn’t have much meaning if we weren't striving for something.

Realistic and attainable goals are one of the keys to living consistently, and it works in all aspects of life, whether it be relationships, business, or individual awareness. If we have a goal, then we have a map that will guide our actions to achieve those goals. Without a map, we might get lost!

SPECIAL NOTE - Having an off day? Consistency means sometimes doing things even when we might not feel like it. Do it anyway.

Learn more about "Setting Goals"

Distractions are everywhere! We have a hard time focusing on and achieving our goals because there are so many things distracting us along the way. Phones, social media, apps, games, people, television, social commitments; it never stops!

It's easy to get diverted from our goals, and every time it happens, we fall further from achieving them. Living consistently means not allowing distractions to get in our way. For someone wanting to lose weight, it might mean making our coffee at home because when we stop by the coffee shop, we may want to buy a doughnut too! To someone else, if their goal is to improve their relationship, it might mean turning off the Wi-Fi at night so they can focus on their partner.

Learn more about "Eliminating Distractions"

Routine; it's not a great sounding word, but a morning routine is likely one of the most important things to do if we want to change our lives. It's less about what the routine and more about having one and doing it consistently. What we do early in the day gets us set up for the rest of the day.

As humans, we want to be consistent with what we have done before. As much as we don't like monotony, we do like consistency. When our mornings don't go as planned, it can lead to what we call a "bad day." A bad start leads to a bad day, and a good start leads to a good day! Wouldn't you rather have a good day?

Learn more about "Start Your Day"

To achieve any goal, it's essential to use reminders. Actual physical reminders can keep us on track towards what it is that we are trying to achieve.

For some, it might be a holiday picture of them sitting on the dash of their cars to motivate them to save money for the next big holiday. For others, it might be a reminder in their phone/calendar for every relative to whom they want to wish a happy birthday.

It helps to have reminders, in our environment, that help us stay consistent with our goals and core values.

Learn more about "Reminders"

Say What You Mean

Most of us have a natural tendency to say what we think others want to hear or to speak in a "politically correct" way. If we use this same approach in our relationships, it can be confusing, misleading, and in fact, harmful. How can we expect our partners to understand us, to make decisions for themselves, and for us to grow as a couple if we can't speak authentically? (Recognition, Authenticity, Transparency, Responsibility)

If we have something that we need to discuss, it's crucial to get to the point so that things can be addressed meaningfully. This doesn’t mean you should be insulting or hurtful in any way; you need to be direct so that your partner isn't left trying to figure out what is meant by what you are saying.

(The Conscious Quest - Conscious Communication!)

Mean What You Say

If we speak to our partners, but we don’t mean what we say, who are we fooling? At best, we are misleading, and at worst, we are outright lying. Of course, there are times when we want to be careful to avoid hurt feelings and preserve trust, but that means being diplomatic, not misleading.

By meaning what we say, we can build trust in our relationship. It's also much easier to stand behind what we are saying. Our partner may not always agree with what we are saying, but they will be confident that they are always getting the truth and know where we stand.

How to 'Say What You Mean'

If we want to be "consistent" with our words, before we make commitments, we might want to consider asking ourselves the questions posed below. If our words cannot live up to these Five Questions, we might want to reconsider what we are saying!

1. "Do I have the desire to do what I am committing to doing?"

There are many times in our lives that we end up doing things that we don't have a desire to do, but we are doing them out of obligation.

We find it hard to say no, so we say yes, and then we regret that we said anything at all! Why didn't we just say no?

Learn more about "Desire"

2. "Do I have the ability to do what I am committing to doing?"

We also can get into trouble when we commit to doing something that can't do. For example, we can't promise somebody a sunny day or that they will have the best birthday ever.

Learn more about "Empty Promises"

3. "Do I have the knowledge to do what I am committing to doing?"

Many times we make commitments even though we have no idea how to do something. For example, we can promise to be more caring in our relationship, but we might not know what that means to our partner.

Learn more about "We don't know what we don't know"

4. "Do I have the time to do what I am committing to doing?"

Everyone has the same 24 hours in every day. It isn't that we don't have time, it's that we are committing our time to more important things. If we are busy and committed elsewhere, then we should do our best not make commitments for things that are less of a priority in our lives.

Learn more about "Time"

5. "Have I considered all the potential barriers that could get in the way of my commitment?"

It's important that we think about all the things that might go wrong before we make commitments. For example, how many people have promised to "Love and cherish til death do us part" without really thinking about what those words mean, and all of the other potential barriers ahead?

Learn more about "Expect the Unexpected"

So What Does All This Mean?

So what does it mean to be a "Consistent Partner" in a relationship? It's about an assurance that no matter what happens in the confusing world of relationships, you are there for each other. There to offer support, comfort, a shoulder to lean on, or an ear to listen, without judgement or repercussion.

Consistency means the act of checking in on each other regularly, supporting growth, spending time, and continuing to learn more about each other as growth occurs. A Conscious Partner offers an easy path to explore relationships; check out The Conscious Quest.

where would you like to go next ?

Recognition

Authenticity

Transparency

Responsibility

Consistency

Acceptance

If you have found any of this interesting or helpful and would like to learn more, our "Consistency" growthshop is a part of the Conscious Quest and is a great way to have some fun and learn more about how important Consistency is in your life and relationships!