Have you ever asked yourself:

"Why does this keep happening to me?"
Well, as it turns out, life isn't really being unfair to us, and more often than not, it's not anybody else's fault.
There is a pretty good chance
that we're just being taught a lesson.
Is the lesson about gratitude... humility... empathy...
or about seeing something from someone else's perspective?
It happens to all of us when we try to ignore
the lesson that life wants to teach us.

We can continue to avoid the lesson,
or we can "recognize" what is happening,
learn the lesson and move forward to the next one!
Does this sound familiar?

"If only "this person" would just change in "this way",
then it would be "perfect".
Most of us don't recognize our part in the situations that we face.
That is why the same things keep happening to us.
When we are faced with tough or important decisions or choices,
it's sometimes a good idea to ask a few questions of ourselves: 
"What am I doing?    
Why am I doing it?   
What is it that I want?   
Am I being true to myself?
Why is it that I am scared of change?"
Do you have any of the following:

Addictions of any kind
Eating for emotional reasons.
Destructive attention-seeking behavior.
People seem to always take you for granted.
Constant “issues” with the people around you.
Always attracting the same type of people in your life.
You ignore your own needs while focusing on the needs of others.
Fear of: change, rejection, success, failure, illness, abandonment, etc.

RECOGNITION
Pay attention to the feelings, the pain, the feelings of confusion, and maybe even bewilderment that it is happening again.

It's important that we listen to our thoughts. Listen to the messages that the Universe is sending us.

That is the feeling of life trying its best to teach us a lesson.

Learn more about "Listening"
We all have been through times in our life that didn't end up being the experience that we were hoping for.   As much as we might like to block out these negative experiences, we can turn them into positive ones by examining the past and learning from it.

     The reason that we should be looking in the past is that it is the only place we can look to discover the mistakes that we have made that can help us change our future. (We also get to explore our victories and use that too!)

More - "Learn From the Past"  "Learning From Mistakes"

We get to decide how we perceive the "challenges" that we face in life. We can allow them to bring us down or make a small adjustment in our perception and view them as opportunities.

Looking at our challenges from a different perspective allows us to see all of the positives that are available to us if we consider all of the options that we have.

Learn more about "Opportunities"
Recognizing negative patterns can be difficult, but the first step is self-awareness.  If you are hoping to escape your negative relationship patterns, you must keep one simple statement in mind.      Learn more about "Recognizing"
There is only one common denominator in every relationship that you have had, and there is only one thing that you can change:

Yourself
Feeling like we are not in charge of our own lives is an unsettling feeling.  Most of us are not even aware that we are acting according to the templates laid out for us by society, friends, family, partners, and other pressures from outside forces.

     As adults, we get to decide how we want to react to life. Taking charge of our lives starts with taking an honest assessment of where we are at right now, figuring out what adjustments we would like to make, and then creating goals that will help us move in the desired direction.    Learn more about "Taking Charge"
When dealing with our personal issues, how much time do we spend tackling symptoms rather than dealing with the problems that caused the symptoms to occur?

Most of us either make excuses, which are a symptom of a deeper issue, or we seek to blame others for our shortcomings, even when we know that doesn’t bring us any closer to our goals.  Excuses and blame protect our self-image as we forgo our happiness.

Learn more about "Root Cause"
Find the Root Cause" The 5 Whys"
Have you ever heard the saying "Playing the victim"?  When we don’t own up to our part in any situation we are in, it puts us in the victim role. We are no longer driving the car that is our life; we are in the passenger seat with someone else in control.

There is always an opportunity to place blame on someone else for most of the issues in our lives.  As adults, at what point do we break the cycle?  At what point do we recognize what we are doing and take responsibility for ourselves and the choices that we make or don’t make?  At what point do we hold ourselves accountable?

Learn more about "Playing the Victim"
It's essential to think about the words we use when we are saying things to ourselves (pay attention to the self-talk). 

  • “It’s not fair” (fair?)
  • “I’m so unlucky” (powerlessness?) 
  • “Since X happened, I can’t be happy” (non-acceptance?)

The words that we speak to ourselves are sometimes more damaging than the words we speak to others. 

Learn more about "Words"   "Words2" 
Know your core values and use them as your guide.  Many people think that values are ethics or morals; they are not.  Values are what is important to us at our "core." They are what we use subconsciously to determine whether we are living up to our own expectations of life.

Living by our personal values sounds easy, but it's not.  First, it requires the knowledge of what our core values are, and then it requires a process of conscious thought to analyze our lives and take steps to follow them.
 
Learn more about "Core Values"  "Core Values2"
"To thine own self be true" - William Shakespeare
What does it mean? It refers to being faithful and honest to our own interests. It's about being true to ourselves, even when people disagree with our opinions. 

Pressure from outside forces can be hard to ignore, but our happiness needs to stick firmly to our beliefs. The first step is to recognize exactly what it is that we want and if we aren't getting that, finding out why.

Learn more about "Be True"
So What Does All This Mean?
  "Forget the past, don’t worry about the future, live in the present."

     Yes, there is a lot of truth in that statement.

However, it's important that we don't simply "forget" about the past,
but that we "learn" from it. 

We can learn many valuable lessons if we take the time to recognize our patterns
and make adjustments in our lives.

This will lead us towards our values and away from the self-sabotaging behaviours
that have not served us well in the past.

There is a lot that we can all learn from The Conscious Quest!
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The information contained on this website, blog, guest blogs, e-mails, videos, programs, services and/or products is for informational purposes only. 

It is not clinical in nature.
It is made available to you as self-help tools for your own use.
If you require professional advice, please seek it. 
 
There are no representations or warranties (express or implied), about the completeness, accuracy, reliability, suitability or availability concerning the information, products, services, or related graphics contained on this website or at any ACP event.

Any use of this information is at your own risk.... or benefit. It depends on how you use it!

The sites that we link to via hyperlinks are not under our control. Those sites are responsible for their own content, we are simply offering you more information if you care to view it.
 
The methods described on this website are the authors’ thoughts. Just some thoughts, not all of them. There is simply not a single definitive set of instructions out there for personal development or for solving relationship issues. Go explore!

You may discover there are other methods and materials to accomplish the goal that you are trying to achieve.

A Conscious Partner - Development Team

A Conscious Partner is the fun, affordable and interactive way to
discover more about yourself and others, and to answer the question:
"Why do the same things keep happening to me"!

Please feel free to contact us at any time with any questions that you may have!
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