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"The 5 Whys" is a brainstorming tool that can help us get to the root of any issue that we have. We are going to use it here as it pertains to self awareness and relationships, but it really can be used in a wide variety of situations.
It was originally developed by Toyota (manufacturing automobiles) as a tool to increase efficiency and prevent problems from re-occurring during the manufacturing process. It works the same in relationships! Or life in general... |
So How Do We Use It?
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It's a very simple process as long as you are completely transparent and honest with yourself. It is as simple as writing down your problem on a piece of paper and then asking yourself why and then repeating the process 4 more times.
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Here's What it Looks Like!
(Free 5 Whys Worksheet at Bottom of Page)
(Free 5 Whys Worksheet at Bottom of Page)
Here are a few examples of how to use it!
PROBLEM - I struggle to speak my mind and I am frustrated. I'm not happy and I want to discuss a few things with my partner, but whenever I try to bring something up we end up in a big fight. We are a really great couple most of the time, but there are things that we need to discuss and I am scared to get the conversation going. I can't figure out what to do.
The problem - "I am afraid to bring up serious subjects with my partner".
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WHY - Am I afraid to bring up serious subjects with my partner?
Answer - Because I am scared that my partner won't like what I have to say. (Symptom)
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WHY - Am I worried that my partner will not like what I have to say?
Because the last time I had something to bring up we ended up in a huge fight. (Symptom)
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WHY - Did it escalate into a big argument?
Answer - Because whenever we talk about serious subjects we end up fighting. (Symptom)
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WHY - Is it that whenever we talk about serious subjects we end up fighting?
Answer - Because we both get defensive, we stop listening and we start going in a hundred different directions. (Symptom)
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WHY - Do we get defensive and lose track of what we are fighting about?
Answer - Because we don't know how to communicate effectively and when the communication breaks down, then we don't know how to fight fairly. (The Root Cause)
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Solution - After completing the 5 Whys, we see that we have exposed the 2 likely Root Causes that are leading to the problems for this couple;
#1 - Effective communication. Communication skills are vital to any relationships and effective communication skills can significantly impact any relationship in a positive way. There are countless ways to learn more about communicating effectively in a relationship, but a fun and effective way is through The Conscious Quest! #2 - Dealing with relationship conflict in a fair way. Once again, there are a number of ways to go about this, but the first step should be to check out the "Conflict Connection". |
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Based on the example above, the initial concern of "I am afraid to bring up serious subjects with my partner" was only a symptom of the root cause. The other questions were also symptoms of the root cause.
If we focus on the symptoms, we will never get to the root of the issue and the actual cause will never get addressed which means we will keep going in circles. IMPORTANT - The process is called "The 5 Whys", but you may get to the root cause in 4... or it might take 7. The goal is to dig as far as you can until you feel that you have reached the point that is the "Root Cause". MORE IMPORTANT - This will only be effective if you are capable of being completely honest with yourself when you are answering the questions. It can help to have someone there who knows you well to help guide you along the way. |
Here are a few more examples
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Why can't I work with this person? Because whatever I do or say he won't listen to me.
Why won't he listen to me? I'm not sure. Why am I not sure? I haven't asked him. Why haven't I asked him? I'm a little nervous about confronting him. Why am I nervous about confronting him? Because I don't like confrontation. (The Root Cause) Solution - Understand why you have trouble with confrontation. Learn about communicating effectively in the workplace. Do your best to overcome your fears and ask some questions. |
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Why wasn't an article published on our company website? Because nobody published it.
Why did nobody publish it? Nobody was given the instruction to publish it. Why? A team leader forget to delegate the task. Why? It wasn't in the content calendar. Why? We don't have a process that automatically puts the content in the content calendar. (The Root Cause) Solution - Develop a process to automatically put the content in the content calendar. |
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Why was the patient was late getting to the operating room? There was a long wait for a different trolley.
Why? The safety rail of the original trolley was broken. Why? The trolleys are not regularly checked for wear. Why? The hospital does not have a maintenance schedule for the trolleys. (The Root Cause) Solution - Develop a maintenance schedule for the trolleys. |
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Why did I get caught speeding on the way to work? I was late for work.
Why? I got up late Why? The alarm went off but I was too tired and fell back to sleep. Why? I went to sleep late. Why? I stayed up past midnight watching a movie that was on and I couldn't record it. Why? I don't have a way to record movies. (The Root Cause) Solution - Get a PVR and make a rule to have the TV off by 11:00 pm. |
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Conclusion - Using the 5 Whys approach will help us get to the root cause of almost any issue or problem that we have. Once we identify the root cause, if we can address that issue, it should take care of all of the symptoms above it.
By getting to the root of the issue, we can move forward and hopefully prevent that same issue from re-occurring. Keep in mind that it is impossible for things to change instantly. It will take time, effort and a desire from everyone involved to improve the situation!
By getting to the root of the issue, we can move forward and hopefully prevent that same issue from re-occurring. Keep in mind that it is impossible for things to change instantly. It will take time, effort and a desire from everyone involved to improve the situation!
Download the FREE Worksheet!
Click on the file below to download the worksheet!
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