Are you Satisfied Sexually?
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The majority of relationships end for one of two reasons. Sex is one of them. (Money is the other).
We are spiritual, emotional physical and sexual beings. Sex is one of the foundations of most relationships, yet it is one of the most complicated to discuss. Let's change that! |
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Sex is one of the purest expressions of intimacy there is. It seems though, that there is often quite a gap between what most people genuinely long for sexually in their relationships and what they actually experience. This gap can create a great deal of suffering, disappointment, resentments and other unpleasant emotions. |
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The key to making sex interesting and exciting again is to improve the communication and better understand expectations, for both yourself and your partner.
If you want to make changes, there are three single things you can work on to get started. Learn how to incorporate these 3 things into your sex life and you will be well on your way. |
The 3 Key Elements to Improving Your Sex Life.
one sexual organ
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There is only one sex organ that we need to discuss here.
It is without question the single most important of the 3 elements. Interestingly enough, you both have one!! |
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One sexual action
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There is one action that will improve your chances of the feelings that you seek.
Once again, you both have an equal ability. |
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one sexual feeling
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There is one feeling that that both ( ...or all) of you will need to achieve in order to enjoy the experience of a full and satisfying sex life.
It takes complete trust in your partner to achieve the sex life that you desire! |
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Don't underestimate the power and the value of how important these 3 elements are in regard to improving your sex life. The difficulty for most will be the start. If you have never talked about sex it can be an uncomfortable and overwhelming experience. That is what you can use this page for. Use the tools here to help initiate conversations and ideas to help you both move forward. Have some fun with it!! |
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Just like love is a combination of chemistry and compatibility, a great sex life also combines a combination of logic and feeling.
Logic revolves around things like Preferences, Characteristics, Awareness, and Safety. Feeling is about the 4F's. Foreplay, Fetishes, Fantasies, and Frequency. A true sexual connection will hit on all levels! |
The Sexual Connection
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Foreplay is not what many think it is. It's not the 20 minutes before sex. It can be subtle or overt. It can be a wink from across a room or scented candles around the bathtub. It might be doing the dishes for your partner, or mowing the lawn. Flirty texts during the day or a well-timed compliment. Foreplay is the ongoing connection between 2 people that really never stops. It's 24 hours a day. Do you and your partner practice real foreplay? Learn more about "Foreplay." "Foreplay 2"
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Fetishes have been around for all of time and some are certainly becoming less taboo as time goes by, but for some, it's difficult to incorporate their fetish into their long-term relationship. If the fetish is not disclosed fairly quickly in the relationship, it is often kept quiet out of a fear of a negative reaction from the partner. Are you open to at least discuss your partner's fetishes?
Learn more about "Fetishes." "26 Kinks and Fetishes" |
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Most people have many secret sexual fantasies that they won't share. For example, he may seem like a masculine guy, but he might be waiting for you to tie him down and spank him with a paddle! Being able to discuss fantasies is a key element in keeping the "spark" in a relationship. Can you talk about your fantasies with your partner and listen sincerely to their fantasies?
Learn more about "Fantasies." "The 6 Most Common Fantasies" |
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Are you getting enough? Too much? There is no magic number that is the "right" number. Be careful to not compare yourself to others, the important part is making sure that you and your partner are on the same page. There are some that want affection daily, others multiple times a week and maybe for others once a week is good. If you aren't getting what you are looking for, it's important to communicate. Learn more about "Frequency." "How Often" "How Much"
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Sexuality comes in many "Styles," and each style comes with benefits and disadvantages. It can be a good idea to learn and define your "sexual style" as a couple. The mere discussion about your style may improve your relationship both in and out of the bedroom. Learn more about "Style."
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It is essential to be aware of your own and your partner's sexual preferences. From positions, to locations, to timing, to lighting, to frequency, and so much more. Is this something that you can discuss with your partner?
Take "That Sex Quiz" Here is a fun "X-Rated Couples Quiz" if you think that you can handle it!! |
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Does your partner have the physical characteristics that make you desire them sexually? Wide, soft, long, firm, round, small, large, wide, thin, thick, tall, short, blonde, dark, red, big, manly, feminine, hairy, clean, etc. Do you know what you want? Does you partner have what you want? Do you have what your partner wants?
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Are you and your partner "Sexually Aware?" Sex need not be "Goal-Oriented." There is foreplay, after-play, fetishes, fantasies, toys and so much more. What is right for one person or couple may not be right for another person or couple. It's about communication with the goal to develop heightened sexual awareness and intimacy. Learn more about "Awareness" "Test Your Sex IQ" "12 types of orgasms"
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Taking control of your sexual health and safety should not bring fear. On the contrary, it means you are prepared, ready, and safe. You and your partner should be aware of all aspects of birth control, and the spread of STI's / STD's. Keep in mind that if you are over 25 and have had more than one sex partner, you have likely had an STD, you just didn't realize it. For more information, check out these links;
"Guide to STD.'s," "STD's." "Myths." |
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A healthy conversation of sexual pasts can be a positive and enjoyable chance for couples to share and develop a closer bond, both inside and out of the bedroom. It can be a bit of a minefield though, so tread carefully. This is a subject that needs to be discussed with respect and sincerity, never judgement. For example, any question involving the "number" is not important. Learn more about "History."
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What Does All This Mean?
Our relationship with sex is quite complicated. We live in a decidedly sex-negative culture, yet we seem to think that we are "progressive." Sex education in our schools is little more than a basic anatomy lesson, and in some cases, it is designed to provide misinformation with the hope that it might scare the kids from having sex.
We ask women to be sexy but not sexual, and then we lead men to believe that their "manliness" is somehow measured by how much sex they can have. A complete contradiction, which is unfair to both.
It’s important for couples to talk with one another – especially early on in the relationship – to determine just whether or not they’re a match, sexually. What you don't want to do is go into a relationship under the assumption that you are both on the same page only to find out that you are not. It can waste a lot of years.
We ask women to be sexy but not sexual, and then we lead men to believe that their "manliness" is somehow measured by how much sex they can have. A complete contradiction, which is unfair to both.
It’s important for couples to talk with one another – especially early on in the relationship – to determine just whether or not they’re a match, sexually. What you don't want to do is go into a relationship under the assumption that you are both on the same page only to find out that you are not. It can waste a lot of years.
where would you like to go next ?
Chemistry
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Conflict
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Emotional
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Financial
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Life Style
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Physical
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Sexual
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Spiritual
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If you have found any of this interesting or helpful and would like to learn more, our "Sexual" growthshop is a great way to have some fun and learn more about improving your sexual relationship!
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