A Conscious Relationship

Relationships are Complicated...

..and they get more complicated all the time. Couple communication has always had its difficulties, but it used to be limited to talking, phone calls and maybe letters.

Life has changed and we communicate through texting, messaging, emailing, Snap Chat, Twitter, memes, Facebook and so much more.

    There are now a countless number of ways to miscommunicate how you feel and misinterpret what other people mean.

     This is why Social Media has become one of the leading causes of relationship issues.

     It isn't because of social media itself; it's more about us. The way we use it creates distance, jealousy and unfair comparisons.

Will A Conscious Relationship Help?

Yes, the goal of being in a Conscious Relationship is to develop effective awareness and communication skills that we need in order to avoid the many pitfalls that we can run into every day.

It doesn't stop there though. A Conscious Relationship is about living in the now. It's about staying current and making sure that your relationship adjusts as the world changes around you.

Do you have a smartphone?

Do you get updates for your phone all the time?

What would happen to your phone if you
didn't install the updates?

Would your device slowly become less effective until one day it would become meaningless?

Doesn't your relationship deserve
regular updates?

The world changes around us every day, and we change along with it. In a Conscious Relationship, we simply monitor the changes and make adjustments so that we can stay on track.

A Conscious Relationship is When Both of You:

We all have an image of who our partner is. Throw it away. Let go of who you think your partner is and discover the real person. Your partner is not some superhero. They are just another human being doing what they can do to get through life. They have unique dreams, desires and fears just like you do. Discover that person! Learn more about "Image."

Regardless of what you have always dreamed of, your partner will never be able to "read your mind." Yes, some people do have an ability to anticipate needs and recognize patterns, but if you want A Conscious Relationship, you need to develop clear channels of real communication! Honest, transparent and sincere communication. Learn more about "Communication."

Valuing needs and desires is vital to the Conscious Relationship. Not just your own goals and dreams, but those of your partner as well. In a best-case scenario, both partners would value the other's needs and desires over their own! The downside of this is when the value is only going one way. It must go both ways. You know that you are in love when you get satisfaction by meeting your partner's needs, and you are not doing it out of expectation. Learn more about "Needs and Desires."

We all have a dark side. Things that we think, want, have done or things which evoke guilt feelings. We have been taught to hide that side of ourselves, bury it deep and never think about it. It exists in all of us. Accept it, understand it, and most importantly take responsibility for it. Not necessarily in a public way, but personally. It will allow you to stop projecting these negative elements into your relationship.
Learn more about your "Dark Side".

A trigger is something that draws us back into the past and causes old feelings and behaviors to emerge. We all have them. Do you know what triggers you? What sets off your anger, temptation, defensiveness, or fear? Identify them. Share them. Understand them. Work together to help each other.
Learn more about "Triggers." "14 Most Common Triggers" "Releasing Triggers"

Often, we are attracted to someone who has the strengths that we lack. This attraction tends to give us the feeling of being "complete." What it really means is that neither of you is. Both people should work to develop those weaknesses, rather than trying to find those strengths in their partner. Learn about "Converting Weakness."

Becoming "conscious" is not easy. The difficulty does not lie in "finding" the right partner, the difficulty is the journey it takes to "become" the right partner. The relationship you are in search of likely consists of many of the elements listed on this page and on this site. A Conscious Relationship requires both of you to be conscious.
Learn more about "How Hard It Is."

Your behaviors should not be controlled by a primitive and reactive response to your past. In a Conscious Relationship, you train yourself to respond more intentionally, or proactively, and in a more constructive manner! So many times in a relationship we are "confused" or don't "understand"our partner. Just like most people are proactive in their jobs, or in their sports, or in their hobbies, be proactive in your relationship.
Learn more about "Reacting Intentionally." "Responding vs Reacting"

Keeping romance alive is often one of the biggest challenges in any relationship. Luckily, love can be "practiced" every day. It does not require huge gestures. Simply do something for each other without an expectation of anything in return. Fortunately, some of the most meaningful gifts are also free. With a little time and creativity, it's both easy and important to stay connected with your partner. Learn more about "Practicing Love."

It is important that you share similar goals and ideas about the future. Indeed, there is room for adjustment and compromise, but the fundamentals should be there. It's hard to make travel plans to be together if you have different destinations in mind. As life changes, there should be ongoing consistency in the vision!
Learn more about sharing the same "Vision."

If both people are doing all they can to be better partners, then there will be little room for negativity or conflict. The healthiest relationships have partners who routinely check in with themselves, their partner, and their relationship to see how things are going and to make changes as necessary. Learn more about being a "Better Partner."

Growth is the key. For everyone. If we stop growing, that is the first sign that something has gone wrong. The unconscious relationship stifles growth and "makes" us act a certain way to please our partner. Growth helps to keep the relationship alive! Learn more about "Growth."

In a Conscious Relationship, it is understood that nobody is either perfect or a perfect partner. We all need to accept the "perceived" flaws in our partner and understand that these may or may not change over the years. Learn more about "Acceptance."

Fighting fairly is a way to manage conflict when disagreements occur. Anger itself is not a problem if handled correctly. The problem is, most people have never experienced or have been taught how to handle negativity in a relationship. It is one of those "taboo" things that nobody seems to want to discuss. For a comprehensive review of fighting fairly, visit our "Conflict" connection page.

Learn about the 5 Love Languages (Book by Gary Chapman): Words of Affirmation, Physical Touch, Quality Time, Acts of Service, and Gifts. Once you learn each other's love languages, you can both make sure that you are getting your needs met!
Learn more about "Love Languages."

We all know that laughter is the best medicine! Laughter reduces stress, increases immunity, combats depression, relieves pain, and releases feel-good endorphins! Conscious Partners make each other laugh! Take the medicine!
Learn more about "Laughter."

Whatever you think will happen, often happens. If you expect to fail, you will usually fail. If you expect to succeed, then you will work to succeed. Always expect the best - from your partner, your relationship, and your life! Learn more about being "Positive."

So what does all this mean?

What this all boils down to is communication and how to do it openly, honestly, and effectively. Without communication, any relationship slowly deteriorates. Most of us never learned the basics of open and honest communication in childhood, so we have little experience with it, yet it is one of the most powerful tools that anyone can have in their toolbox. Honest communication helps to keep your relationship moving forward and keeps both partners in sync with one another.
Next, take a look at the "8 Conscious Connections." You might also want to consider being "Certified Conscious".

Where would you like to go next ?

If you have found any of this interesting or helpful and would like to learn more, our "Conscious Relationships" growthshop is a great way to have some fun and learn more about all of the aspects of being in A Conscious Relationship!

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     The methods described on this website are the authors’ thoughts. Just some thoughts, not all of them. There is simply not a single definitive set of instructions out there for solving relationship issues. Go explore!

You may discover there are other methods and materials to accomplish the same result.